Being in an abusive relationship can take a tremendous toll on your self-esteem and self-worth. You may feel like you have nothing left to offer and that no one will ever love you again. The truth is that you have plenty of hope for the future. You just need a way to recognize it. Here are some tips to help you regain your confidence after an abusive relationship.
Remember That You Weren’t The Problem
Victims of abuse often find ways to put the blame on themselves. This is the result of the control tactics that abusers utilize to belittle and degrade their partners. While there may have been steps you could have taken to better the relationship, you were not the cause of the other person’s harmful actions. They chose to hurt you, and they chose to continue the hurt for an extended length of time. Remind yourself that you are not at fault for the other person’s actions. The sooner you can free yourself of the blame, the easier it will be for you to close this chapter of your life.
Work With A Self-Esteem Counselor
Here at Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers, we don’t just offer anger management therapy for relationship abuse. We also offer self-esteem counseling and other individual counseling services for victims of abuse. By working with a professional counselor, you can discuss the events that you have been through and learn ways to overcome your past. Every person is different in how they cope with stress and struggle. Your counselor will help you come up with the perfect coping plan for you.
Focus On Positive Aspects Of Your Life
It is easy to feel confident about yourself when you realize just how valuable you truly are. Focus on the positive aspects of your life. Example: you have a great job, a roof over your head, amazing children, a loving family, good health, a strong sense of faith, etc. Define what makes you special and put a spotlight on those elements in your mind. If need be, write down your positive traits and put the list somewhere you can always see it. When you feel down, look over the list and remind yourself about your self-worth.
In order to fully move on from an abusive relationship, you need to find closure from it. The source of your closure will depend on the nature of your relationship and the type of abuse you endured. Start by forgiving your abuser for his actions. Holding on to anger will only hurt you more, and it will not make the abuser feel any remorse. If you were married to your abuser, you may use your divorce as a form of closure. Moving out on your own and disassociating yourself from your former lifestyle will help you move on to the great life you have ahead of you. Your counselor will work with you every step of the way to ensure your success and future happiness.