Relationships are definitely hard work. There’s no denying the fact that a relationship is highly susceptible and frequently gets afflicted by huge problems like abuse, infidelity, and addiction. However, there are innumerable instances where various so-called petty problems play the role of a silent killer and sabotage the bond we share. Let’s start with the soiled socks on the floors, the wet towel on your bed, the loud snoring, the noisy chewing, and the list is simply endless. Like the inexorable drips of a leaky tap, these issues erode the inherent goodwill of the relationship. And even before you realize, you feel under-appreciated, unheard, and miserably unloved – unless the problems are comprehended, analyzed, and controlled.
Why Can Relationships Be So Difficult
The intrinsic challenge of a relationship is discovering the art and science of negotiation and coordination, and definitely not in ‘compromise’. It is important that you realize the best things about your partner and figure out a solution to live with his/her quirks or irritants instead of alienating them. One must find the middle ground to sustain the relationship and the partners connected. When relationships and marriages stop working, it is often found that the individuals are fighting over petty differences and not on big issues.
Most of us want and seek different things from a relationship and the partner. Though the idea of a union is integrated in the first few years of the marriage, for longtime couples, minor irritations may lead to deeper problems. And over the years, small problems combine into a vast force and become something more disturbing when added up. Psychological researches have shown that most of us live with our partner in our heads and not just within the four walls of our home. With shifting perceptions over a period, the idealized partner becomes, unfortunately so, less ideal.
However, if you want to make the relationship successful, something must change. In all probability, it is YOU.
Every annoyance and irritation in any relationship is actually a two-way road. Regardless of your partner’s frustrating behavior, your individual interpretation plays a greater part in it. It matters what meaning you derive out of it. The ability to eliminate relationship irritants exists within us. Whether they sabotage a good and healthy relationship or not, depends largely on how you have been and will interpret the problem.
The perceptions are bound to change with every passing day into a relationship but how you make it successful is your call.