From an early age, most of us are taught not to go to bed angry. Every problem has to be resolved before bed, or it will mysteriously get ten times worse by morning. While there is merit to timely conflict resolution, sometimes it’s better to go to bed angry. Here are some couples counseling tips to help you decide when.
A Problem Now May Not Be A Problem Tomorrow
There is a strong chance that you will wake up in the morning not even thinking about the previous night’s discussion. A small conflict that is not worth fighting over will be forgotten after a night of rest. If you are still upset in the morning, then you know you feel strongly about the issue. You can re-start the discussion with a fresh perspective and a clear frame of mind, which will ultimately provide a better resolution.
This piggy-backs on the idea of “leave it to Sunday.” In that setup, a couple will make note of any arguments they had during the week and discuss them all on Sunday (or another designated day). Some of the arguments from earlier in the week may seem silly or pointless by Sunday. Those can be pushed aside. This does not work for all couples counseling scenarios, but it does work for some.
Going To Bed Can Stop The Argument’s Progression
Most big arguments are compilations of miniature arguments. They build up until neither participant remembers the original source of the conflict. Have you ever felt caught in a circular argument? Everything you say makes the situation worse, and everything you hear only hurts more. If you agree to pause for the night, you can prevent this escalation from occurring. As long as you both approach the re-discussion with an open mind, you should come to a resolution.
There Isn’t Always A Resolution
Believe it or not, you don’t have to have “closure” in every argument. There are times when you simply agree to disagree. You should not do this throughout your marriage, but you should learn when a topic is worth fighting over. Prioritize your frustration. Is this a make or break moment? Will you even remember this argument next week? If you can let go of frivolous emotions, you can focus on the important elements of your relationship.
This Is An Argument Best Resolved In Couples Counseling
Your partner isn’t listening to you, and you can’t understand his or her perspective. That sounds like an argument best resolved in couples counseling. If you already have a couple’s counselor, write down the topic at hand, and discuss both sides during your next argument. Your counselor will provide an unbiased view, and he or she will help you come to a resolution.
If you are not in couples counseling at this time, there is no better time to start. Our couples counseling programs in Michigan are designed for every stage of your relationship, from premarital counseling to divorce prevention and more. Contact Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers to schedule an appointment with a specialist, and we will help you strengthen your relationship for the future.