Why do people cheat? What would make someone want to stray from their marriage and seek comfort in another person? There are a number of answers to these questions, many of which we will discuss below. Understanding the common causes of infidelity is one of the first steps in rebuilding a relationship after an affair because identifying the source of the issue allows you to find a solution for it. Read on to learn about the many reasons why people cheat in relationships.
Feeling Like The Relationship Is One-Sided
One of the biggest problems that couples face shortly before infidelity is the feeling of imbalance in the relationship. One-sided relationships come in many different forms: one spouse feels underappreciated, the other spouse feels more financial pressure than the other, etc. As long as one person in the relationship feels like he or she is pulling more weight than the other person, it’s one-sided. When a person is weighed down by the pressures of a relationship, he or she may seek out relief in another person’s companionship. In other words, if your spouse feels like he or she is not getting enough attention from you, he or she may look for it elsewhere. Does this justify the behavior? No. But it does give you a good starting point for infidelity couples therapy in the future.
A Lack Of Communication
Communication is one of the most fundamental components of a successful relationship. If you cannot talk to your spouse and listen to what he or she has to say, you will have a hard time making it through the difficult hurdles in your marriage. This is particularly true for people who cheat. Not being able to share secrets, stories, and feelings with their spouses can lead some people to open up to others emotionally. This may or may not lead to a physical relationship, but emotional cheating is still a form of cheating. If you are struggling to work through problems in your marriage, it may be time to seek the help of a professional marriage counselor.
An Unsatisfying Sex Life
Unfortunately, many people cheat because they are not satisfied with their sex lives at home. This doesn’t just apply to men. Members of both genders can stray from their marriages because of unfulfilled sexual desires. A study published in The Normal Bar showed that 52% of people who were unsatisfied with their sex lives would be tempted to physically engage with someone they were attracted to, compared to just 17% of those who were sexually satisfied. That means that people who do not have a good sex life are three times as likely to cheat on their partners as those with satisfying intimacy levels. 71% of men from the study who had cheated in the past said they did so out of sexual boredom, compared to 49% of women. Regardless of gender though, having a drab sex life could put your relationship at risk of infidelity.
If you are worried about infidelity because of your sex life, you may explore the option of sex therapy. In this case, you and your spouse will work with a sex therapist to improve your intimacy and strengthen your marital bonds as a whole. Learn new ways to connect with your spouse and correct underlying issues that may have hurt your sex life over time. For more information, feel free to contact Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers in Michigan at (248) 244-8644.
An Unfulfilled Sex Drive
You’ve probably heard this excuse before: “My sex drive is too high for one person to handle.” This is most common in men, but women can have high sex drives also. If there are in fact issues with sexual satisfaction in your marriage, correcting those issues may help you avoid this cause of infidelity altogether. If you have an active, healthy sex life and your partner still decides to cheat on you, there may be some underlying personal issues that he or she needs to address. Having a high sex drive is not an excuse to cheat on your spouse, yet 46% of men and 19% of women who cheated in the above study cited that as one of the reasons for their affair. If you feel that your current sex life is not enough to meet your needs, talk to a couple’s counselor about other ways to fulfill your desires.
Revenge For Past Infidelity
Believe it or not, some people choose to cheat on their spouses because they have been cheated on before. If the non-cheater is unable to forgive the cheater for his or her actions, he or she may look for a revenge affair. This is a tumultuous cycle that causes far more pain than comfort, but it is one of the most common causes of infidelity.
If you and your spouse are at risk of infidelity or you are trying to improve your relationship after an affair, contact a marriage counselor who can help you overcome this obstacle and move forward with your lives.