Premarital counseling is designed to set your marriage up for success – right from the start. It provides an unbiased platform for you and your spouse to tackle marital struggles before they ever come up. Your counselor will guide you through these discussions during your premarital counseling sessions, but you may have a particular issue that you want to focus your attention on. By getting a feel for the conversations to come, you can start thinking about questions, answers, and important points you want to bring up.
In this series, we will explore 10 topics to discuss during premarital counseling so you can make the most of this experience.
Conflict Resolution
Perhaps the most important topic of discussion in any marriage counseling service is how to handle arguments in the relationship. You probably already have experience with this as a non-married couple. Determine how you can effectively end arguments in your marriage before they turn into deal-breakers, and ask your marriage counselor for suggestions on ways to improve your conflict resolution skills.
Discussion Starters
- What has helped us end fights so far?
- What habits, actions, or hot-button issues make our fights last longer than they should?
- What are our biggest pet peeves and annoyances?
- What are our no-tolerance conflicts? Example: Infidelity, abuse, alcoholism, drug use, etc.
- What repercussions can we agree to if a no-tolerance conflict occurs? (Having preset “punishments” is a crucial step in divorce prevention)
Personal Values
Have you ever really sat down and discussed your values with your fiancé? For a lot of couples, values are implied or assumed, not talked about. You may have a general idea of what your future spouse stands for, but it would be in your best interest to openly chat about these ideals before you get married. This will give you a chance to cooperate and come together about values you may want to instill in your future children, should you choose to start a family. If you have vastly different core values, you can work together on a compromise before they cause fights down the line.
Discussion Starters
- What are your core values?
- Where do your values come from? Example: Past experiences, instilled family values, religion, etc.
- Do we have the same values in life?
- What are the most important values we want to uphold as a couple?
- How will our values impact our abilities to start a family and raise children in the future?