Don’t Hold on When Someone Is Trying to Move on
If your spouse is trying to move on, let him or her go. You are only going to hurt yourself worse if you try to hold on to the relationship. If the other person is willing to work through the issues, great! Talk to a couple’s counselor and find a way to move forward together. However, if the other person no longer wants to be in the relationship, you need to let them go so you can heal and grow.
Holding a Grudge Will Hurt You More Than the Cheater
Forgiveness is an important part of the healing process. You have every right to be angry and upset, but try not to hold a grudge for long. These feelings of anger and frustration hurt you more than they hurt the other person, and you’ve already been through enough pain. Make peace with the situation and move forward in your own life.
You Didn’t Deserve to Be Cheated on
If your self-esteem is low, you may feel like you deserved to be cheated on. That is never the case. There is never a situation where someone deserves to be hurt like this. You are better than that and you deserve the be treated better than that.
Don’t Assume That Everyone Cheats
Just because someone cheated on you doesn’t mean that everyone cheats. You don’t have to “swear off men” because they’re all cheaters, and you don’t have to guard your heart forever. It’s good to be cautious, but don’t let that stop you from finding happiness in the future.
Cheating Was Not the Only Reason the Relationship Ended
You may say, “he cheated on me so we broke up,” but the infidelity was only part of the problem. Chances are there were many other issues in the relationship that caused it to fizzle before the cheating occurred. You don’t have to explain those reasons to other people, but you should acknowledge them on your own. Figure out where things went wrong and what you could have done as a couple to make them better. Then you’ll be better prepared for your next relationship.
You Are in Control of Your Own Happiness
At the end of the day, you are in charge of making yourself happy. Your happiness should not rely on another person. If your spouse was the only person/thing that made you happy, look for new hobbies and interests. Work with a counselor to overcome depression, low self-esteem, and other issues you may be facing. Learn to love yourself and find comfort in your own happiness.