Anger is a natural human emotion we all face at some point in our lives. Some of us have an easier time controlling that anger than others. Whether you experience mild outbursts or complete meltdowns, there are some things you can do to improve your anger management and keep your temper to a minimum. Here are some at-home anger management techniques you can try on your own.
Think About What You Say Before You Say It
When you get angry, you tend to say things you may regret in the future – things you may not even mean at all. Rather than getting caught up in the heat of the moment, you need to take time to think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. If there is a comment that will have negative repercussions, you may reserve that for a time when you are less upset. At the very least, try to collect your thoughts so you can present them in a concise, productive form, instead of a haphazard string of ideas that come across in a negative light.
Give Yourself Time To Calm Down
This concept ties in with the one above. Give yourself a moment to calm down before continuing with the argument or discussion that you are in. If you know you have issues with anger, you may let your spouse know about this cooldown period ahead of time so he or she knows to give you your space when you need it. You don’t necessarily have to leave the room to enjoy quiet time. Just avoid the conversation for a few minutes and wait for your adrenaline levels to drop. After that, you can approach the conversation from a better, more collected point of view.
Schedule Stress Breaks Throughout The Day
If there are times of the day that consistently stress you out, schedule a few five-minute breaks in between. For instance, if you work in a store that gets particularly hectic around lunchtime, try to excuse yourself to the restroom in the middle of the hype just to clear your head. If you have a meeting with a stressful client once a week, take a break shortly before the meeting so you can clear your head. If you set yourself up with a clear state of mind, you will have a better chance at conquering a difficult situation with grace – not anger.
Express Your Anger In A Clear, Controlled Manner
There is nothing wrong with letting people know you are upset. It’s all a matter of how you approach the situation. Bottling up your emotions will only lead to a bigger blow up later on, so it’s ideal to let your anger out when you feel it come on. However, you need to take time to gather your thoughts so your expression doesn’t come across as violence. Let people know what you are upset about and why you are upset about it so together, you can come up with a solution for the problem.
PRO TIP: Use “I” Statements When Expressing Your Anger
Instead of saying “You never do this” or “You did that,” try phrasing your statements through the use of the word “I”. Example: “I am upset that you did not offer to take out the trash when you filled the bin.” If you consistently point fingers at other people, they may start to resent your statements, which will only further your anger. If you can express yourself in a way that does not directly assign blame on someone else, you can come to a solution faster and easier.
Focus On The Solution, Not The Problem
One of the biggest reasons why people have trouble controlling their anger is because they focus on the reasons why they are angry, not the solutions that could eliminate their frustrations entirely. Try to shift your mind from the problem to the solution. What can you do to make the anger go away? What could be done in the future to avoid this problem in the first place? If you’re stressed out because all of your bills come out at the same time, talk to the service providers about adjusting your billing dates. If you’re angry about your teenage daughter’s messy room, find an organization system that will make it easier for her to keep the space clean. Once you identify a solution for your anger, you can focus your energy on making that plan a reality.
Find Safe Ways To Release Your Energy
Something as simple as a consistent exercise routine could do wonders for your built-up aggression. Finding a way to channel that energy into something productive will go a long way in helping you control your anger from day to day. If you already work out, jog, or walk on a regular basis, consider joining a mixed martial arts class or playing a new sport. The change of pace may be just what you need to feel better throughout the day.
Watch Shows And Movies That Make You Laugh
Humor can be an effective way of relieving anger. Try watching shows or movies that you know will make you laugh when you have free time or when you get home from work. Lightening the mood can help you forget about the stress of the day and process stressful events in a healthier manner. You should also surround yourself with people who make you laugh, or who help you put matters into a clear perspective. Surrounding yourself with a positive support system will greatly improve your anger management therapy as a whole.
Use Relaxation Techniques To Calm Yourself Down
Relaxation techniques are designed to reduce feelings of anger and clear your mind. You could start with deep, heavy breathing – inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. You could also try meditation yoga, listening to peaceful music, or anything else that may reduce the stress and anger you feel building inside of you. Every person has his or her own unique way of relaxing. You just have to figure out what yours is so you can use it as needed.
Seek Professional Help When You Need It
The at-home anger management techniques are effective enough for some people, but others need additional assistance in order to fully get control over their emotions. If you are putting others or yourself in harm because of your anger and rage, you may need professional anger management therapy to help you overcome your inner frustrations. Your counselor or therapist will help you identify the triggers that set off your anger so you can recognize and avoid them as much as possible. He or she will also help you process memories from the past that may be influencing the way you interact with people in the present. Finally, your anger management counselor will come up with creative ways for you to channel your emotions and control your anger so it does not put others at risk. You will ultimately have a better grasp on why you feel the way you do and what you can do to conquer those feelings moving forward.
To find out more about our anger management programs in Michigan, contact Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers at (248) 244-8644.